I believed so deeply that there was an inherent goodness down below all the self involved toxicity. A small flicker of a flame, grasping for air. Begging to be ignited.
I was wrong. Cuts like a knife to admit. I spent fifteen years nurturing, loving, & guiding this little imaginary flame. I was so focused on helping this soul find his "true" self. That I allowed his need for air to absorb my oxygen. In the end; I suffocated.
How? How do you spend half of your life being chewed up, swallowed & regurgitated. How do you end up simply existing for another; never noticing that you're no longer living.
Love...the idea of love; it plays such a heavy tune with our hearts. With our minds. "You can survive this horrid behaviour", love says. "You love him...remember?". "Infedelity? Well, you can forgive that. You love him...". "Years of lies & heartache, you got this. You're strong. Love will guide you". Love fools us into believing that it is enough. That love can save the day. Well, it's not enough. No. Love is not enough...
No comments:
Post a Comment